Maryland Captivity - Beautiful Swimmers

Mr. Mcdonald,

This morning, I read your Craigslist post with a mixture of irritability and butterflies, previously felt only after eating bad chinese food and kissing the girl of my dreams. When I saw that you were looking for people to install “Cubicles and Office Walls,” these butterflies soared up my throat, fluttering through my brain in a raucous delirium of trepidation and anticipation. I am your cubicle builder. A history major by choice, graduating from the University of Texas, I am currently employed looking under my family’s furniture cushions for change. While I am not willing to give up this lucrative job, I  will gladly shift the hours, so that I might build office walls for companies which have refused to hire me. My past experience in closely related fields includes bussing tables and working as an Archival Intern specializing in 18th Century Annapolis. I am ready to start today, and I hope that, in building these walls, we can tear down the other walls currently standing between me and any modicum of success.

Manicly Yours,

Austen Patterson