Maryland Captivity - Beautiful Swimmers
Accounts from a strange family
For corrections or complaints:
austen.patterson@gmail.com
Play me a song to ease the pain
My sister is quite the wannabe starfucker. I find this sort of sad, since celebrities don’t often marry people with 3 legs and 1 ear. Today, she announced that she thinks that Molly G. is her best friend out of my friends. I had to inquire further about this, since she has met Molly once, for 5 seconds, while Jaina was trying to figure out why I had told all of my friends that she was mentally impaired and dyslexic. Her reasoning, though, was quite telling. She stated that Molly had a) known Lady Gaga b) lives by Katy Perry and c) likes the Russian Futurists. Based on these exclusive criteria, my sister aims to hang out further with Molly, so she can meet Andrew from MGMT. She told me all of this while constructing a 1/10 scale model of the colon and anus, hopefully for her science class.
